Top Ten List of Inanity

The List

1. AOL would be improved if Charlton Heston's voice said, "You've got mail"
2. Someone please, please destroy the monster that is Dr. Phil. Or at least pull that unholy talk show off the air.
3. Why did Sting do that stupid Jaguar commercial? Why do all these celebrities sell out? Is there something I'm missing out on here? Do they really need the money?
4. 3 am is either a really good, rich, creative time, or the hour from hell.
5. According to The Exorcism of Emily Rose, that has to do with demonic forces. Don't say I didn't warn you.
6. Invariably when I see a movie these days, someone decides to pretend they are in their living room. Then, I want to hurt this person.
7. I would never hurt them, but I might take their cellphone and jump up and down on it.
8. BECAUSE CELLPHONES HAVE TAKEN OVER AMERICA!! For the love of God, people, find a therapist, because your phone might as well be a joint! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!! Talk about an addicted society!!
9. I keep my cellphone on "silent", mostly, esp. in church.
10. I have my most irreverent and sexual thoughts in church, 'cause some things never change.

Papa, can you hear me?